Thoughts about life after turning 56 years old this year

I turned 56 on May 15, and after careful thought, I came to the realization that I am content with my life. However, since the pandemic, I have been battling boredom, loneliness, and some regret.

Dinner celebrating turning 56.

I have found that since the pandemic, although we all dealt with a lot, some people have become more self-indulgent, focusing on their immediate circles or bubbles rather than reconnecting or rebuilding relationships. People are sticking to what they know rather than stepping out of their comfort zones and experiencing new things. There is a great big world out there, so why not explore it, embrace it, and enjoy it?

It is ironic that I am a Taurus and resist change. But when I look back over my life, I have experienced meaningful change, met, and lost, many people, and accomplished a lot. I mourn and grieve my losses but have always managed to move forward without forgetting them, the changes I have made, the experiences I have had, and the lessons I have learned.

I may not be extremely healthy, fit, or smart, but I have managed, every day, to move and put one foot in front of the other to experience life. I have experienced trauma, like everyone else has. With a lot of inner work, therapy, and journal writing, I have been able to keep going. I always tell my students I do not know a lot about one thing, but I know a little about many things I have learned through my experiences and interactions, both personally and professionally. I am where I am because of my curiosity, saying yes, and, in some instances, being in the right place at the right time.

Unison Awards 2023
Unison Awards 2023

 

At 56, I have barely dated, never fallen in love, or been in a long-term relationship. I have always put myself out there, played by the rules, even broken a few, done everything I thought I had to do. But after all these experiences, I feel alone but appreciate and enjoy the freedom to play by my own rules and say what I want, whether or not it offends anyone.

Being your authentic self is not always easy, but when you mute the voices in your head from your past, look forward and not back, life can be pretty incredible, even if you are living and experiencing it alone. The silence from those past voices may be more deafening than the noise, but silence is golden when you make the time to listen to your heart and soul and applaud yourself with the praise you deserve for living your authentic life. Praise from others is very humbling, but, as I have learned, it is you who needs to be happy for serving, accomplishing, for your creativity and imagination, and for sharing and showing love to yourself and others during your lifetime. That is the legacy to achieve.

 

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God Made Me Weird and I Am Grateful for It

In April of this year, I was elected President of the Ontario Branch of the International Order of The King’s Daughters and Sons, a 135-year-old inter-denominational Christian organization that helps humanity and offers several post-secondary academic scholarships in a number of disciplines.

Prior to being elected in this role, I served four years on the International Executive Committee as Editor of the Silver Cross, the organization’s quarterly magazine. It was a great opportunity to develop skills as a writer and editor in putting each issue together, especially writing the Editor’s Column where I shared a lot of myself in a vulnerable way, as well as discussing the contents of each issue.

Following my four-year term, my successor invited me to submit guest columns in several of her issues. During this time of year, where I tend to spend much of my summer self-reflecting and planning for a busy fall season, this particular guest column, published in the Fall 2015 issue of the Silver Cross, came to mind and I wanted to publicly share a part of me that only members of this organization had the opportunity to read.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – FEBRUARY 22: Screenwriter Graham Moore accepts the Best Adapted Screenplay Award for “The Imitation Game” onstage during the 87th Annual Academy Awards at Dolby Theatre on February 22, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

I missed the Oscar broadcast this year. But the very next morning, I received a text message from a friend informing me that I had to watch the acceptance speech from American Screenwriter Graham Moore. He won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, for The Imitation Game, based on the book Alan Turing: The Enigma by Andrew Hodges. By the time I turned on my computer to Moore’s speech it had gone viral. It was a top news story and is now one of the highlights of this year’s Oscars.

The Imitation Game tells the story of Turing, the father of modern computing, who cracked the German codes in World War II and helped end the war.



In his Oscar acceptance speech, Moore said that at the age of 16 he attempted suicide because “he felt weird, different like he did not belong.” Moore was speaking for the kid who feels like they’re weird or different or don’t fit in anywhere. Telling them they actually do. He concluded with “stay weird, and when it’s your turn, and you are the one standing on this stage, please pass this message on.”

Throughout my life, I’ve been told that I am weird. Over time it caused me to have a very negative outlook on life. I pursued what I wanted to do without caring what other people thought. Looking back, I don’t remember doing anything horrible, except for stepping in to help without being asked, offering assistance, making a contribution, and offering advice. In most instances, these activities are not considered cool. My level of insecurity grew and I suffered much loneliness for following my own route. I remember praying on countless occasions, asking why I was being treated this way and what can I do to make it better. Over time, I came to the realization that my “weirdness” has allowed me to accomplish a lot and make a difference.

One distinct aspect of my weirdness is my voice, which, on countless occasions has been described as unique. It took me years, to recognize this unique part of me and to accept it. This weirdness, or uniqueness, has given me pleasure and great satisfaction as a public speaker, and a singer. I have the ability to sing a variety of vocal parts. Although weirdness can be lonely, in my case it’s allowed me to meet and work with many wonderful people in unique situations.

Reminiscing about life since I first watched Moore’s acceptance speech has allowed me to feel more and more grateful to My Lord for the many gifts he bestows upon me each and every day that may draw me unwanted attention. These gifts allow me to make a difference because I am much more accepting of my weirdness.

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Invite Me to the Table

For 25 years, I have spent many hours sitting at a variety of tables where I have listened, learned, observed and consulted with a variety of people, that led to a rewarding career in the communications industry. Whether these were formal meetings, chats over a meal or coffee, they were opportunities to assist in creating, developing and executing communications strategies and tactics for existing or up and coming projects in a variety of industries. Now I would like to share some of those opportunities with you through stories, opinions and lessons learned and invite you to come to your table and help you however I can.

I have spent time working for a boutique-style agency, consulting as a freelancer, teaching at Humber College, giving presentations to groups, and even volunteering my time both as a volunteer and board member. I have worked with clients in a variety of industries. As I’ve told my clients and even my students, I don’t know a lot about one thing. I know a little about a lot of things.

Even before I launched my career in communications back in 1995, I worked in a variety of retail environments and volunteered my time to non-profit organizations. I held leadership roles during my elementary and high school education.

As you can see, I have a lot of stories to share and I hope you’ll join me and eventually Invite Me to the Table to develop your stories.

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