God Made Me Weird and I Am Grateful for It

In April of this year, I was elected President of the Ontario Branch of the International Order of The King’s Daughters and Sons, a 135-year-old inter-denominational Christian organization that helps humanity and offers several post-secondary academic scholarships in a number of disciplines.

Prior to being elected in this role, I served four years on the International Executive Committee as Editor of the Silver Cross, the organization’s quarterly magazine. It was a great opportunity to develop skills as a writer and editor in putting each issue together, especially writing the Editor’s Column where I shared a lot of myself in a vulnerable way, as well as discussing the contents of each issue.

Following my four-year term, my successor invited me to submit guest columns in several of her issues. During this time of year, where I tend to spend much of my summer self-reflecting and planning for a busy fall season, this particular guest column, published in the Fall 2015 issue of the Silver Cross, came to mind and I wanted to publicly share a part of me that only members of this organization had the opportunity to read.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – FEBRUARY 22: Screenwriter Graham Moore accepts the Best Adapted Screenplay Award for “The Imitation Game” onstage during the 87th Annual Academy Awards at Dolby Theatre on February 22, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

I missed the Oscar broadcast this year. But the very next morning, I received a text message from a friend informing me that I had to watch the acceptance speech from American Screenwriter Graham Moore. He won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, for The Imitation Game, based on the book Alan Turing: The Enigma by Andrew Hodges. By the time I turned on my computer to Moore’s speech it had gone viral. It was a top news story and is now one of the highlights of this year’s Oscars.

The Imitation Game tells the story of Turing, the father of modern computing, who cracked the German codes in World War II and helped end the war.

In his Oscar acceptance speech, Moore said that at the age of 16 he attempted suicide because “he felt weird, different like he did not belong.” Moore was speaking for the kid who feels like they’re weird or different or don’t fit in anywhere. Telling them they actually do. He concluded with “stay weird, and when it’s your turn, and you are the one standing on this stage, please pass this message on.”

Throughout my life, I’ve been told that I am weird. Over time it caused me to have a very negative outlook on life. I pursued what I wanted to do without caring what other people thought. Looking back, I don’t remember doing anything horrible, except for stepping in to help without being asked, offering assistance, making a contribution, and offering advice. In most instances, these activities are not considered cool. My level of insecurity grew and I suffered much loneliness for following my own route. I remember praying on countless occasions, asking why I was being treated this way and what can I do to make it better. Over time, I came to the realization that my “weirdness” has allowed me to accomplish a lot and make a difference.

One distinct aspect of my weirdness is my voice, which, on countless occasions has been described as unique. It took me years, to recognize this unique part of me and to accept it. This weirdness, or uniqueness, has given me pleasure and great satisfaction as a public speaker, and a singer. I have the ability to sing a variety of vocal parts. Although weirdness can be lonely, in my case it’s allowed me to meet and work with many wonderful people in unique situations.

Reminiscing about life since I first watched Moore’s acceptance speech has allowed me to feel more and more grateful to My Lord for the many gifts he bestows upon me each and every day that may draw me unwanted attention. These gifts allow me to make a difference because I am much more accepting of my weirdness.